How to Keep Writing, Even When It’s Hard
I’ve reached an exciting life milestone: My home is finally free of a child’s play kitchen.
(And before you ask, yes, I promise this is related to writing.)
The play kitchen had been in my dining room for a decade, and honestly there were times I thought I would never be rid of it. I was tired of seeing it day after day, month after month. So when my youngest announced that it was time to find it a new home, I jumped into action.
Do I miss the kitchen? No, not right now. But I know that some day I will. I'll look back longingly on the times when a tiny chef would cook me a pretend dinner.
That’s the thing with phases: it’s hard to appreciate them when you’re going through them.
And writing a novel, like parenting, is a big task made up of many phases. You might find some phases fun, while others are less so.
But it’s important to find a way to enjoy (or at least appreciate) the phase that you are in, while you are in it.
Because if you wait until your book is complete to enjoy it, well, you may never reach the finish line.
Having the motivation to show up and write is hard when you’re dreading the work.
Actively looking for something enjoyable in each phase of the writing process ensures you keep showing up all the way through completion.
Different phases use different skills
It can be helpful to notice that each phase of the writing process uses different skills and strengths:
Foundational planning involves dreaming big and imagining all the directions your story could go.
Writing the first draft uses puzzle solving and pattern identification as you work out exactly how the main character will move through the story.
Revising means stepping back and evaluating the big picture.
Polishing involves drilling down and looking closely at each paragraph and sentence.
If you’re in a phase that requires a strength that isn’t in your wheelhouse, it’s understandable that you might struggle. The trick is to figure out how to do the work anyway.
One approach is to identify a non-writing task that uses similar skills as the writing phase you’re in, and consider how you make that task enjoyable (or at least less painful) in life. What mindset or reframing tools do you use to tackle a task that doesn’t play to your strengths at work or at home? Can you use a similar approach in your writing?
Struggling with a writing phase
When you’re struggling with a phase of your novel, it can be hard to want to work on it.
Perhaps the phase is new and you feel shaky about it.
Or the skills needed in this phase don’t match your preferred skill set.
You might wonder if you’re doing it right, or if you’re wasting your time and energy.
In the moment, a phase can feel uncomfortable, it can be a struggle, or it might even feel painful. But being aware of what’s making it hard can help you find a way through it.
Check in with yourself and ask, why is this phase feeling impossible? It might be the task itself (like writing in a scene rather than a summary, or improving dialogue), unrealistic expectations you’re putting on yourself, or the slow pace of the work.
Once you’ve identified the issue, look for a creative way around it. You might tape some paper over your screen to prevent you from editing as you write, or challenge yourself to write the worst dialogue possible. Do something that will lift you out of the heaviness you’re feeling and help you loosen up.
Each phase is temporary
Whether you like the writing phase you're in, or you’re really struggling with it, take time to remember that it is just a phase. By definition, you will eventually complete it and move to a new one.
That next phase will likely be daunting in new ways. And when you look back, the old phase may seem easier or simpler. The reality is that since you’ve overcome it, it doesn’t hold the same power that it did when you were in the middle of it.
As you’re moving through each phase of your writing journey, remember that the work you’re doing is something that most people never even attempt. It may feel uncomfortable right now, but take pride in the struggle. Doing the hard thing is worth it.
Choosing to write a novel means agreeing to tackle a variety of types of work, from visioning and planning, to drafting and polishing. Not every phase of the process will light you up, but if you can commit to finding some enjoyment at each point you increase your chances of finishing your book.